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It all felt a bit final, didn’t it? No cliffhangers to leave us wondering what’s next. Nothing. In fact, it was all wrapped up into one pretty little package and felt much more like a series finale rather than a season finale.

I’ve been stalking Catherine Bell and Sally Pressman on Twitter to find any news of a renewal and they are in the dark as well. Pressman tweeted that they may have news after Labor Day and they will be on Twitter as soon as they find out.

But as soon as this episode ended, the first thing I told my husband was that they ended it in a way that it could be ended for good.

In fact, the only thing we’re really left wondering about is Pamela’s answer to Chase about him choosing her over Delta. Other than that, Denise had her baby, Emmalin graduated, Jeremy proposed, Pamela was offered the new job (perfect for a spin-off show) and Michael was rescued by none other than Chase. My husband rolled his eyes so much about that one they were almost permanently stuck. But at least it was realistic for Delta to rescue a General.

I would be much more hopeful about a renewal if we had ended the season not knowing what was going to happen to Michael, with Denise being rushed in for an emergency c-section with Frank and Jeremy watching from overseas and Joan having a set-back.

But alas, it was just all a little too normal. And final.

Time will tell I guess. What’s your guess? Will it come back?

Filed under: Army Wives Lifetime | No Comments »

Yep, I’m going there.

If you want to get a debate started with a quickness online, simply bring up this subject. You’ll have people speaking up who rarely do and others who are always outspoken become even more so. Let’s examine the most common debates in the enlisted vs officer world of debate. And just for full disclosure — my husband was enlisted when he was in (he’s medically retired now).

1. The Pay Difference

Let’s take the military part out of it and look at it from a civilian perspective. Go into just about any business and you would expect to see those with college degrees who are in management to be earning more. And the longer they stay, the higher their salary generally goes. Why shouldn’t the military be the same way? As it stands, officers who hold college degrees make more money.

Now I realize that some enlisted have college degrees as well. But they chose to go the enlisted route rather than the officer route. I have an MBA but if I choose to work in a job that doesn’t require my degree, I can’t expect to be compensated for having one. The salary depends on the job, not necessarily on my education level.

I also believe that one thing that makes the pay difference so obvious in the military world is because the information is public. There are very few businesses in the civilian world where you can look up anyone’s salary online. In most social circles, discussing salaries would be taboo as it is considered to be a personal and private subject. Not so in the military.

2. The Housing Difference

I would fully expect for the senior lender of the bank to live in a nicer home than the customer service representative of the bank. He makes more money and so in most cases, he will have a larger and/or nicer home. Why would that be different in the military? A higher level of education and responsibility should equal increased benefits. Yes, they all put their lives on the line and, yes, all of their jobs are important. But that doesn’t mean there can’t be differences between pay and benefits. A janitor in a hospital is just as important as a nurse as far as being employees of the hospital. But I’m sure everyone would expect that the nurse will be paid better than the janitor since the nurse has a higher education and a higher level of responsibility.

Let’s look at the housing allowances where we lived — Savannah. The housing allowance for an E-4 with dependents is $1,179 and for an O-2 with dependents is $1,485. Regardless of the type of housing they live in on post, they have to give up their entire housing allowance. Why should an O-2 have to pay $1,485 for the exact same house than an E-4 is paying $1,179 for? They shouldn’t. If you were renting in the civilian world, can you imagine if they found out what your job was and decided that you needed to pay an extra $300 more per month just because you make more?

3. Charges Based on Rank

Along the same lines as the housing allowance, military members also shouldn’t be charged differently based on their rank. Can you imagine if you went to McDonald’s and had to show your tax return before they told you how much your hamburger would be? How crazy would that be?

Once at a spouses’ club meeting, we were voting on our next outing. We had chosen a restaurant downtown where lunch generally runs about $12 per person. I realize that may be a tad pricey for some but if you really want to do something, I think just about everyone could come up with an extra $12. One of the spouses of an enlisted soldier who was there made a big stink about it saying that enlisted spouses should not have to pay the same as officer spouses since their husbands made more. I literally sat there with my mouth on the floor.

The officer spouses who were there obviously felt badly and offered to add a few dollars to every officer wife meal in order to reduce the meal price for an enlisted wife by a few dollars.  Personally, I was furious. The restaurant wasn’t checking IDs at the door. The meal is $12 regardless of if the Mayor is eating there or if it is a homeless person off the street. To expect the officer wives to pay more the same meal so the enlisted wives could pay less was incredibly stupid. And I happened to know this particular enlisted wife very well. She could have easily skipped her weekly manicure and had lunch if she wanted. She was not unable to pay $12 for lunch and neither was I as a fellow wife of an enlisted soldier. If for some reason, I felt it was unreasonable, I would simply not go or suggest a less expensive option. But I would never expect someone else to pick up my tab.

This post is getting rather long so I’ll stop there but there’s more…much more…to discuss.

Stay tuned!

Filed under: Army Life | No Comments »

I will never forget the day when one of my moderators sent me a text letting me know that a board member’s husband had been killed in action. It was our first loss by a current member of the board and we didn’t really know how to proceed. Everyone was at a bit of a loss as we made posts about condolences and prayers for her and her family. We came together to do the only thing we knew how to do as an online support group and that was to make donations for a flower arrangement for the funeral. That flower arrangement soon turned into a college fund for her kids as the donations poured in. We definitely proved during that dark time that we come together when needed.

Just shortly after receiving the news her husband had been killed, Nicki received the exciting news that she was pregnant. Her husband had just been home on R&R and they had decided to try for a little brother or sister for Connor while he was home. We all sat in complete and total awe as Nicki dealt with everything on her plate. She was (and still is) a complete inspiration for many of us.

We were even more amazed when during her grieving for her husband and excitement for their baby, she decided to create Bubba’s Belly Run, a 5K run that would benefit military organizations and Gold Star families. She secured the location and then began looking for donations. Her goal was to have an American flag along the race route for every servicemember who had been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. She accomplished her goal, had an incredible turnout for the race and raised more than $56,000 all while pregnant.

Cooper is now here as a healthy and happy little baby brother to Connor. Nicki continues to amaze us her with strength and dedication to military families. Once again, she is hosting Bubba’s Belly Run in Potomac, Maryland on September 26th.

And you can help!

• Buy a flag. For just $5, you can honor one of our fallen heroes.
• Sign up to run in the race. Even if you can’t physically be there, you can sign up to participate virtually by organizing a team to run a 5K route in your location on race day.
• Volunteer your time to help with race day events.
• Provide sponsorship for the race or persuade your company to become a sponsor.

Visit Bubba’s Belly Run to learn more or follow the developments on Facebook.

Filed under: Fallen Heroes | No Comments »

Okay, so my husband recently switched from the Montgomery GI Bill to the Post 9/11 GI Bill as the school he is attending is ridiculously expensive ($64K for a program that is a little more than 18 months).

When he made the switch, we were told that we would be lucky to get a BAH payment by September 1st. He started on July 12th so I was very worried about how all of this was going to work out as he had to quit his job and get a lesser paying one to attend classes. But I figured that was probably about right to have to wait 45 days for the first payment.

Well, I’m happy to report that we received half of his book allowance ($500) within just a few days of him starting classes. In addition, we just received a partial BAH payment at the end of July. Not bad at all!

So I officially take back everything that I have said about them being slow and complaining about how long it takes them to process paperwork. For the ones who told me we would have to wait — I’m not sure if our experience was unique or you were passing on information you “heard” from others. But this was our experience and I’m really pleased with how it worked out.

Also, his school participates in the yellow ribbon program which covers the difference between the cost of the program and how much the GI Bill will cover. With the program, the school puts up a certain amount and the VA matches that amount to help cover the difference. It worked well for us and he will only owe about $100 per semester.

There you have it! I still encourage you to compare your benefits before you elect to make the change to the Post 9/11 GI Bill. When he was looking at an online program, it would not have been advantageous to make the switch. But with this program, it was definitely worth it. Just keep in mind, once you make the switch, it is permanent.

Filed under: Education | 4 Comments »

I was unable to attend this event and asked Jessica Altamirano if she would attend in my place. Following is her recap of the event. Thank you, Jessica, for being gracious enough to attend, take notes and represent my websites well at the event. ~Stacey

On July 29, 2010 I had the pleasure of attending a special screening of the August 8th episode of Army Wives in which Dr. Jill Biden, wife of Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr., makes a guest appearance. General George Casey, Army Chief of Staff, and his wife, Mrs. Sheila Casey hosted the event at the Fort Belvoir Community Center. Cast members Kim Delaney and Brian McNamara, Army Wives author Tanya Biank, and about 100 Fort Belvoir soldiers and their families were in attendance at this special event.

General Casey and Mrs. Casey provided the opening remarks before Vice President Biden took the stand. He shared a touching story about a Captain he met during one of his many Army hospital visits. This Captain had lost both legs and part of an arm but still managed to pull himself upright in his bed where he promptly apologized to the Vice President for not being able to stand and salute him. Vice President Biden said that what impressed him the most about this young man was the continued sense of patriotism and desire to serve, in spite of everything he had been through.

Dr. Jill Biden followed the Vice President to the stand where she shared a little bit about her acting debut on Army Wives. Dr. Biden said the experience was wonderful, despite the fact that it was about 100 degrees in Charleston, SC on the day of her shoot, which took about 16 hours to film! She also shared her firsthand experience of understanding the challenges Army families face, as both she and Mrs. Casey are Blue Star moms. Beau Biden has safely returned from Iraq, but Casey’s son is still deployed. Dr. Biden reminded the audience that no matter your relationship to a deployed soldier, the deployment and its risks are always on your mind.

Immediately following the viewing of Army Wives, I was invited to meet with subject matter experts. This included representatives from Walter Reed, the Comprehensive Soldier Fitness Program, Warrior in Transition Units, the Army Strong Bonds Program, the Exceptional Family Program, Hearts to Hearts, and the Gold Star Wives of America. Each representative shared a little bit about their program and welcomed questions from the press. During this session, I was given the opportunity to speak about Married to the Army and Stacey Abler’s efforts in providing information and resources to Army families. I was also able to promote Living the Army Life, a new blog with 20 contributors, myself included.

Overall, I think the evening was a hit – everyone seemed to enjoy the special screening of Army Wives and the opportunity to meet and talk with the Vice President and his wife, the Army Chief of Staff and his wife, and the cast of Army Wives. I personally felt honored to have spent an evening with many brave soldiers and their families, and those who are supporting the 1% of Americans who fight for our freedom.

Filed under: Army Wives Lifetime | No Comments »

Yes, I realize it is only a television show but I was so happy to see that they showed Claudia Joy having a hard time with General Holden’s deployment as well.

For whatever reason, I think many people assume that the spouses of higher ranking enlisted and officers have an easier time with deployment. I’m not even sure what the logic is behind it as it certainly doesn’t make any sense. Their husband is leaving for a war zone the same as everyone else in the unit. But I think for some reason, we expect them to handle it better.

I know I did. On my husband’s first deployment, we routinely received phone calls every Friday about injuries. It got to the point where we all said we were going to quit answering the phone on Fridays because it was always bad news. Luckily, it was only injuries and we didn’t lose anyone on that deployment. On one of the Friday phone calls, we learned that it was an officer who had been injured.

The chaplain called a meeting for the wives of my husband’s company because we had been getting so many of these phone calls. At the meeting, I saw many going up to an obviously shaken wife to comfort her as she was upset over her husband’s injuries. It was then that it hit me that we are all the same. Regardless of the rank of our soldier, we all have the same fears and worries. We love our husbands in the same way and we hold them as tight as possible before they board that plane.

Knowing what I do now, I’m embarrassed that I ever thought there would be a difference between how wives of different ranks of soldiers deal with deployments. I stupidly assumed that the Colonel’s wife (or insert rank) would have it easier just because her husband was a Colonel. That was a naive assumption on my part.

I’m happy that the show handled it like it did and showed not only Roxy having a hard time dealing with the impending deployment but also Claudia Joy. Regardless of the job and rank our soldiers hold, deployments take their toll on all of us. While we should never play the “I have it harder” card when dealing with other spouses, we should also never look at in the opposite way and assume that someone else has it much easier just because of their station in life.

I was basically a brand new Army wife at that point as my husband left within just a few weeks of arriving at his unit. While I’m certainly not happy the injuries occurred, I am glad that I was able to gain that perspective early in my experience as an Army wife. Rank really doesn’t matter in the world of the spouse, no matter what the context may be.

Filed under: Army Wives Lifetime, Deployments | 2 Comments »

Today, an email went out to all newsletter subscribers to confirm their interest in receiving the MTTA Newsletter.

This is due to switching to a new email newsletter service as my previous service increased the rates beyond what could be afforded for a free newsletter. If you would like to continue to receive the newsletter, you MUST confirm your subscription. If you do not confirm, you will no longer receive the newsletter. It does not matter how long you have been a subscriber as the new service requires that they have permission to send emails to you.

I apologize for the inconvenience and hope you will continue to be a subscriber!

If you don’t currently subscribe, visit here to sign up:

http://marriedtothearmy.com/army-newsletter/

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When my husband first joined the Army, I encountered the one up syndrome quite a bit. Put simply, its where someone always seems to have it harder or worse than you and has no problem reminding you of it if you happen to utter a word of negativity. Admittedly, this happens outside of the military world too but it certainly seems more prevalent among military spouses.

I received an email from a spouse who’s husband had recently left for basic training. She was looking for advice of how to deal with the loneliness and unknowns that accompanied their first separation of any real length since saying their wedding vows. She also shared with me that she hoped I would not be like those she had run into recently who belittled her experience and told her she should try to deal with their life (going through a deployment) and then she would know how true loneliness felt.

Why do we do this? I’m sure I’m guilty as well though I try to stop by myself if I start to share a story with someone that can be taken in that way. I have said it at least one hundred times – a separation is a separation is a separation! It doesn’t matter if it is for basic, TDY, deployment or any other reason. If your soldier is away, it sucks, plain and simple.

Yes, deployments are different than being away at training. But being away at training, especially for the first time, brings a whole new set of challenges as well. Instead of telling the person they’re not justified in their feelings because you have it “harder”, why can’t we just remember what that feels like? Remember how it feels to deal with all of the unknowns of the Army for the first time? Remember how it felt to have no idea when you would hear from your soldier again, when you would be able to live with him again or how he’s doing on a day to day basis?

There is nothing accomplished in this one up game other than making the other person feel even worse than they did before they came to you for advice and support. I encourage you to reach out to other spouses, family members and significant others of soldiers and HELP them. Offer words of encouragement, share advice and show empathy for their situation. By sharing your own experiences with others and reaching out to them, you help to make our entire Army family community stronger.

Off my soap box…

Filed under: Army Life | 3 Comments »

Check out these new Welcome Home designs at Cafepress to welcome home your soldier from deployment. These welcome home shirts and welcome home buttons are the perfect way to let your Army soldier know you have missed him at the deployment ceremony.

Or check out other Welcome Home shirt designs.

Filed under: Cafepress, Deployments | 4 Comments »

It was recently announced that the MyCAA will resume in October with some significant changes.

After I read the press release, I stared at the computer with my mouth hanging open. I was (and still am) in complete disbelief over the changes that are being made to the program.

As I have said before, I am fully aware that the military doesn’t have to do a single thing to contribute to the educational goals of spouses. However, the new changes only set up more of a divide between spouses and families.

The Rank Issue

The new program will only be available to spouses of soldiers in the ranks of E1-E5, W1-W2 and O1-O2. Now, where they came up with the rank structure is beyond me. It makes no sense even if you look at the pay scales of those ranks. However, what really gets me about it is that we are continually told as spouses not to wear the rank of the soldier as it has nothing to do with us. I agree fully with that. However, then the military institutes a program where the spouse can only participate if her soldier is of a certain rank.

Now, who is to say that the spouse of an E-2 is the one without any education who needs assistance in going back to school whereas the spouse of an E-6 does not? Fact is, I know many spouses who will qualify for this program based on rank who have graduate degrees. On the other hand, I know others who are excluded due to their soldier’s rank who didn’t even graduate from high school. Bottom line is that the rank of the soldier has no bearing on the educational status or career capability of the spouse. To assume otherwise is quite frankly ridiculous and shortsighted.

The Program Issue

My second issue with the new program guidelines is that spouses can only use the $4K (reduced from $6K) towards a certificate, license or associate’s degree. A bachelor’s degree or graduate degree is no longer covered. Now, let’s think about this. How much sense does it make to limit the types of education a spouse can pursue? Regardless of the type of degree a spouse chooses, the amount of money is the same. She would receive $4K regardless of if she chooses an associate’s program that costs $5K or a graduate program that costs $20K. The amount of the assistance doesn’t change. So why limit her in what she can do?

Overall, I think the idea of the program is great. The fact that they are helping spouses pursue their educational goals is admirable. However, the execution of the program is disappointing. There are other ways to cap program costs without dividing spouses based on their soldier’s rank.

What is your take on the new program?

Filed under: Army News, Education | 8 Comments »