I did it. Okay, I admit it. When my husband was in basic training, I was anxiously awaiting information that was supposed to arrive on when I should pick him up for Exodus.
News flash: I have ZERO patience. And the Army only made it worse, if that’s even possible.
Every day, I went home to check the mail just knowing the paper telling me when I could have my husband for two whole weeks would be there. But it never was. And every day I got more and more anxious. I needed to plan. I HAD to plan.
So I got the bright idea to email his commander at basic and ask for the information. If I only knew then what I know now.
Luckily, by the grace of God, my husband didn’t find out I had done this until after he graduated. I was at least smart enough to only use my first name and an email address with no identifiable information….which is probably what saved my husband from being called out in formation.
But it was a mistake. And let me tell you why.
If my husband had a job at a normal civilian employer, I would never dream of calling his boss and asking him what time I could come to pick him up when his Christmas vacation started. Why would it be any different in the Army? I think the Army makes us misplace our common sense sometimes. And it makes us feel much more involved in his career than we are (or should be).
Now, the commander was very gracious in his reply. But he didn’t have to be. And he wouldn’t have been in the wrong if he hadn’t been – I would have been (and was) for sticking my nose into the middle of my husband’s job.
What I should have done was patiently awaited for the letter (which arrived the following week, by the way) or waited for my husband to relay the information to me. It wasn’t my place to contact his boss and circumvent him on it.
It’s your soldier’s job. Not yours. You really have no place contacting his commander, any more than you would contact his civilian boss. He should be the one in that communication channel, not you.
Can you relate to my mistake of contacting the commander? Do you agree it’s not your place as the spouse to be involved?
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Filed under: Army Life